When I Look at Him, I See My Son: An Embryo Donation Story

Embaby Boy (2026)

After five failed rounds of IVF and two miscarriages, my husband and I had all but given up on having a biological child of our own. While we both had infertility factors, we were never told pregnancy wasn’t possible. With each round, we were reassured that success was likely - yet it never came.

Then, we experienced one of those “miracle” natural conception stories and our daughter was born in 2020. As we watched her grow, we still felt a pull to have another child. But after another failed IVF round, nine unsuccessful IUIs, and yet another miscarriage, we came to a difficult realization - if we truly wanted to expand our family, we would need to pursue a different path.

A close friend had built her family through embryo adoption, and her experience was incredibly influential for us. She spoke so positively about the journey and gave us hope that this could be a meaningful and fulfilling way to grow our family.

We began the process through Embryo Connections, taking our time to find a donor family that felt right. We matched with a few families along the way, but never felt that clear sense of certainty - until we met our donor family. They didn’t necessarily “look” like us, but the connection was immediate. We both knew: this is it.

It only took one transfer for me to become pregnant with our baby boy.

His birth was overwhelming in the best possible way. From the very beginning, he felt like the missing piece of our family - the one we had been searching for all along. He is now eight months old and the absolute joy of my life. I truly cannot imagine our family without him.

Before he was born, I had fears. Seeing myself (literally) in my daughter, I wondered if I would feel the same connection with a child conceived through embryo adoption who didn’t share our genes. My husband had similar concerns - were we pushing for more when we already had a healthy, beautiful daughter? Would the dynamic feel different?

We thought long and hard about our decision. We had many conversations about the unknowns and the potential challenges ahead. But ultimately, our instincts told us to move forward. We knew we were a loving, supportive family, and that we would navigate whatever came our way - together.

Once I became pregnant, those fears began to fade. And when he arrived, they disappeared completely. From time to time, someone may comment that he doesn’t look like us or have that confused look while remarking “did your daughter look like that as a baby?” but it’s not something that holds weight. In fact to me it now sounds trivial when I could have allowed that to be a deciding factor in pursuing this path. When I look at him, I see my son - completely and unquestionably. The bond I have with both of my children is equal in every way.

Our donor family has been incredibly compassionate and kind, giving us the space to lead the relationship while respecting boundaries that allow us to focus on nurturing our family. We share a unique and meaningful connection with them - one that I know will continue to grow over time. We are endlessly grateful - for science, for Embryo Connections, and for the incredibly selfless people who made this journey possible and gave us our greatest gift. Because of them, our family feels whole, complete, and filled with more love than we ever imagined possible.